Rule #5: Only Have Sex with Feminists in Bed

There’s a feeling I get sometimes during sex – that me orgasming is a perk, not the point. It’s distracting at first, pulls my mind away from the fun to the futility. But then it grows – from a nagging whisper to a siren’s scream, forcing me to pull over until it passes.

I don’t feel it always. In fact, I needed to feel it only once, maybe twice for clarification, to know it was one I needed to avoid. It was the “dirty” part of sex, the part that left me feeling blue the next day, desolate without any emotional underpinnings to blame it on.

Because for me, sex has never needed to be predicated on an emotional relationship or a lingering sense of commitment. But sex has always needed to feel equal, partnered and genuine, like the banter I love that precedes it: if you banter so only one person can be funny, it’s just a bad comedy act.

I studied this feeling and eventually came away from it with a conclusion that has since nearly eliminated my damaged sense of self-worth through selfish sex. It is this: I only sleep with feminists in bed.

How can someone that is okay with one night stands know that the person is a feminist in bed?

It’s not about whether they voted for Hillary Clinton or fight for global abortion rights (though that would be nice, too), and these aren’t my conversation starters; it’s about a central, fundamental life philosophy of appreciating, respecting and liking women. It’s something that’s easy to spot, but it’s even clearer when it’s not there. It doesn’t exactly get me laid like I wish it would it should, but it does lead to better, more fulfilling sex.

Knowing is also part instinct. Mine aren’t always perfect, as in the case with Hot C, but most times – it works to not only turn me on but get me off. Happy hunting fair trade sexing!