I might have said yes if it was gouda.
I admit it – even after the tasteless, even bordering on offensive drunk texts that The Bartender sent me Friday and Saturday nights, I wasn’t 100% against going out with him.
I mostly was. I was a solid 95% against it, but there was a small part of me that justified his behavior by saying, well, it was his birthday, and he was really drunk. But more than that, there was the part of me that loves blatant honesty – loves the idea of two people just laying it on the line and saying what they want and what they’re looking for with the other person; that part of me thought, “At least he was honest.”
I was 95% against ever going out with him, but I figured if he messaged me on Sunday, sober, apologizing for being an ass and said he still wanted to go out and get to know me, I might still say yes. Instead, I got definitively unapologetic hungover messages on Sunday.
“Too bad technology hasn’t progressed to the point of being able to text someone a gatorade.”
Me: “You assume I would want to send you a gatorade.”
“You and I both know you’d send me a gatorade.”
Oh wait, yep – reached it. 100% not going out with this guy. He had been cool and funny and a great conversationalist when we met on Friday night, but this? Hell no. I was out.
Then, this morning, low and behold, the sober nice guy returned…
“Good morning! Hope you had a fun rest of your weekend. If you’re still interested in grabbing some dinner this week let me know. I have Wednesday and Sunday free this week.”
I waited until I got to work, thought through what I wanted to say and responded with this:
“I’m actually not interested anymore. I was, but the unapologetic drunk texts were a turn-off. That said, I’m sure I’ll be at RNRH again soon, and I’ll look forward to seeing you there!”
I’m more or less a regular. I know enough staff to be a regular. I don’t want it to feel weird for either of us.
Even though I knew I wasn’t interested any longer, it was still hard to be direct. But I figure if it was the other way around, I’d like to know why the guy was no longer interested in me, even if he thought it was obvious.
So I say it without a question mark this time – Another one bites the dust.
Good for you. I probably would have gone anyway, and then fallen in love, and been all confused when he turned out to be an asshole. Like my pal Oprah says, People tell you who they are. You just have to believe them, the first time.
Easier said than done though.
I want(ed) so much to go out with him anyway. I’m not sure at what point I began making semi-rational decisions about my love life, but it kind of sucks, huh? Well, at least in the short term… when I’m foregoing passion and fun and great stories, it sucks. Your pal Oprah has pretty good advice, it turns out!
It’s good you were direct, I’d probably do the same thing!
I’ve read the later posts so commenting is hard!! But definitely impressed that you blew him off in a totally explanatory, appropriately nice/honest/tough way. Go you! Cheers, T.
oh my gosh, you are SO sweet to come all the way back and read AND comment! Thank you. Yeah, I tried to do the right thing… and it turns out that I was the awful one all along, huh? haha
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